Plans (time to sort my life out!)

Tomorrow
Phone foot surgeon
Doctor Appointment
Shopping for Latitude
Lunch with Nicole
Start Revision Properly
Start Summer Reading Plan (i.e. plan and start reading possibly plan blogs/write-ups)
Backdate King's Week photos for blog.


I will have at least one productive day before going away on Wednesday!

My prayer today...

On Thursday in CU we were looking at John 17:20-26:

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one — ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved themeven as you have loved me.²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you^[a] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

about 'unity' between Christians. Our relationship is equated to that between God and Jesus, i.e. the closest that ever existed. And one thing it brought home to me is how much I love my CU and church friends, they're like another  family to me and related to that I decided to publish something that I wrote last weekend. I didn't publish it at the time because I've learnt not to make anything written in an emotional state public straight away because I often (usually when angry) I do something I regret. 
                                                                                                                                               


Verse 1 
Before You gave us life and breath 
You numbered all our days 
You set Your gracious love on us 
And chose us to be saved 
This fleeting life is passing by 
With all its joys and pain 
But we believe to live is Christ 
And death is gain 


Chorus 
To live is Christ, to die is gain 
In every age this truth remains 
We will not fear, we’re unashamed 
To live is Christ, to die is gain 


Verse 2 
And though we grieve for those we love 
Who fall asleep in Christ 
We know they’ll see the Savior’s face 
And gaze into His eyes 
So now we grieve, yet we don’t grieve 
As those who have no hope 
For just as Jesus rose again 
He’ll raise His own 


Verse 3 
And now we’re longing for the day 
We’ll see the Lamb once slain 
Who saved a countless multitude 
To glorify His name 
We’re yearning for the wedding feast 
Of Jesus and His bride 
His nail-scarred hands will finally 
Bring us to His side
[http://sovereigngracemusic.bandcamp.com/track/to-live-is-christ]


My prayer today is that one day I will not be the only person in my family able to sing this song. Because "though we grieve for those we love Who fall asleep in Christ" there are so many who I love who aren't in Christ and I don't understand it.


Right now I completely understand Paul's anguish in Romans 9:

"I speak the truth in Christ—I am not lying, my conscience confirms it through the Holy Spirit— ² I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. ³ For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my people, those of my own race, ⁴ the people of Israel. Theirs is the adoption to sonship; theirs the divine glory, the covenants, the receiving of the law, the temple worship and the promises. ⁵ Theirs are the patriarchs, and from them is traced the human ancestry of the Messiah, who is God over all, forever praised!^[a] Amen."

There are times when I find myself literally in tears over the people I love who don't know God. So if you are reading this, I don't judge, and I don't keep trying to tell you because I want to be annoying or superior but because I love you and I love God and nothing would mean more to me than for you to know each other.

Undiagnosed illnesses and crutches.

These crutches seem to be dominating my life at the moment. I went to the doctor a week and a half ago with pain in the ball of my foot. With great glee my parents had both told me it was probably gout and sure enough that was the doctor decided to test for. Though with a few reservations since I wasn't showing all of the key symptoms. She took a blood test and sent me home with instuctions to hobble on my heel until the results came a week later Taking into account my ridiculous history of knee and Achilles problems in that leg I decided to requisition the random pair of crutches that have been in our cupboard since before we moved in. I've now realised that crutches are nowhere near as fun as they look! I have bruised hands and forearms and every journey takes forever (seriously 20mins from the bus station to uni!). So I have spent a lot of the last week exhausted and miserable, especially since I came away from the second doctor's appointment without gout but also without a diagnosis so I'm juggling silly insurance paperwork now to see a specialist.
But in the last few days I have realised how much this is teaching me. I have amazing friends who take really slow journeys with me and carry my bag around even to places that they're not going to. Lucy, Hattie, Rob, James, Nora, Rebecca to name but a few. And I'm usually quite an independent person and hate relying on anyone for anything so learning to be gracious and humble about depending on people is proving quite a challenge but I think I'm getting there. And I'm very blessed by my friends who help completely willingly and without ever holding me indebted.
Even so not knowing what going on and fear of the thought of a neuroma (something wrong with the nerve) which the GP suggested as a possiblility and the treatment implications of that and the general stress and exhaustion I'm generally a little scared and all over the place.
Earlier this song came up on my spotify: 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

(Chorus 2x's) 

Even though I feel like I'm walking (or hobbling) through storms, which though are nothing compared to what many people go through, often feel like they could pull me under, I have nothing to fear. My God is always there for me and my eternal life with Him is worth more than any pain or trial I could even conceive of. He will never let go of me, and my step on from relying on my friends is completely and utterly depending on Him. All my days I will sing His praises...wait that brings me to another song...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTBJlzNvVTE

The mega committee meeting

The CU committee spent approximately twelve hours at my house 9 days ago. In amongst 3 meals, epic amounts of snacks and many cups of tea:

TEAPOT!! WITH MATCHING MUGS! (Birthday present from my brother)

We planned out the year:

Year planner with whiteboard pens, this level of organisation makes me happy.

And they even did all the washing up for me, since I can't stand up properly at the moment. (see next post).

Matthew 28:18-20 ¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said,“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Belated Birthdayness

Hmm, not sure what happened to my blogging over the last couple of of weeks...oh yeah, I came back to London and term started. Oops. So the next few posts will be some updating.

It was my 21st last month and here is the dinner table with pretty sparkles :)

Look what my Grandma made! It's Psalm 23 entirely in handsewn tapestry, amazing!

My Parents bought me a Kenwood Chef (an epic Kitchen mixer), which kind of shows what sort of 21 year old I am.

Though it seems my sister had different ideas about what the most exciting part of the present was:

Dough hook = Pirate Hook

And yes, we can fit in the box...

 

London Celebrations with cocktails (the rest on Facebook):

I managed to remember to take a picture of the last and least interesting looking cocktail...

Coffee and Systematic Theology

Coffeeeee. I introduced Nicole to Mocha after she admitted the only coffee she'd drunk was instant Nescafe (with all the yumminess out there I thought this was unacceptable!). I also had my first cup of coffee in apparently long enough to make me talk at triple speed, seriously weird. Though it has only been two and a half weeks, so maybe I was just doing Caitlin hyperness, who knows.

In other news, I got stuck into this brick again today. Chapter 3 The Canon of Scripture (basically what's in the Bible and why), far more interesting than Chemistry revision!

So it turns out holidays full of revision don't have many photo opportunities...

Well the title says it all, zero photo opportunities. So I'm just randomly scribbling. 


 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY Gotye - Somebody that I used to know.


I have listened to this song a slightly ridiculous number of times in the last couple of days. Now I'm not usually one to write about my emotions on a public post, if you know me then I'm pretty much an open book anyway (as someone once put it, I don't so much wear my heart on my sleeve but on a big sign above my head), so what's the point. But I completely get the sentiment portrayed in this song (or what I think is the sentiment anyway).
When you're in a relationship you are completely wrapped into each other's lives, then it ends and you can become complete strangers. So many people say "we'll still be friends," but really you become at best acquaintances and at worst strangers. And I think that's really sad, just because you realised that you can't spend the rest of your life married to that person doesn't mean that you don't care about them and what happens to them. It's sad, you lose a friend as well.


So there, some of my thoughts. Anyone agree?