Fear

Fear...I can honestly say I'm scared at the moment. I have a week of exams coming up. 3 exams that I have taken twice before and not managed to pass and if that happens again, then that's it. No degree. 2 years of lectures and labs and work to come out officially no more qualified than I was before. I have been working towards this as long as I can remember. I basically decided that I wanted to do chemistry or something similar around my GCSEs, so 2007. That's 5 years ago. I got my place at the end of 2008, 4 years ago. And I've known that I was going to go to university and do a degree since I knew what university was!

And now I don't know what's going to happen. Even if I pass there's still 3rd year to get through, and if I don't, who knows what's going to happen. Wait, who knows? God knows. He knows everything that's going to happen. What I want to do is serve him, preferably in full time paid ministry, He will make that happen when He wants it to. I can't go off God's plan for my life ^[1], I can make wrong, unGodly decisions and screw up my motives all I want, but He will work them for right in the end^[1]. All I can do now is trust that, trust the God who made me and has the power and wisdom to work things out how He wants them, not how I do. Trust and work as hard as I can to glorify him. 

²³ Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, ²⁴ knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

[1] for more on this see Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, available from The Good Book Company, 10 of those, and Amazon. One of the most useful books I have ever read.